Guilt

The Dictionary defines GUILT as: feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy

I believe it should just say: Motherhood. 

Many mothers will know exactly what I am talking about. " The fruity pebbles for breakfast was not nutritious, I don't spend enough time, they sit in front of the television all day, leaving them to work, all I do is scream at my kids all day"  I have recently heard this from many moms with younger kids. 

As they get older it becomes different guilt missing the play, forgetting to send lunch money, and being late picking them up from activities.  The list goes on and on. 

My experience is that as my children get older it really never goes away.  In fact I think the decisions become more difficult and the guilt gets worse.  Every week we are faced with the decision of what activities we will attend and how much time we spend with each child.  Making it fair among the children is a hard thing to do.  I sometimes feel like the scale that is always off balance.  Finding the time to attend everything is rather difficult. They become more involved in activities and it becomes a delicate balancing act to attend all the activities. 

As a mother I want my children to know I support and love them.  I am facing what I call a "guilt weekend" and struggling with the decision of how to be the parent to all three kids. Kolton is running a college race in Nampa, I am committed to help McKenzie and the cheerleaders decorate and clean up for the sweetheart dance, and Kelsie has drivers ed.  Do I have enough time to decorate get to Nampa and back in time to clean up?  That just leaves Kelsie without a parent!  Do I force Kelsie to go with us to Nampa and back so I don't feel like I have abandoned her?  But if she comes then McKenzie is left home alone until the dance. Should one of us go to Nampa and the other parent stay home? Do we skip the race in Nampa?

In the end we are just parents doing the best we can to keep our heads above water. I will just have to accept being a mother means guilt.